The Big Life

Geek is sexy. Most people would argue otherwise, and you could argue the other way around. Really. So you’ve managed to win over the girl of your dreams, (like some teen romance) and you’re asking … “now what?” Like the last scene from The Graduate, where Elaine and Ben, both exhausted from trying and succeeding at getting back together look to nowhere in particular, their looks both asking the question,

“now what?” you know that it could either go nowhere, or have potential for something to grow.

Since that “red-and-roses-and-flowers-and-candies-and-love-in-the-air” holiday is coming up, I might as well put in some things I’ve learned on the romantic front, being a geek myself.

These tips assume that you’ve won the girl, she may be a geek or the prom queen, but I think these tips apply both ways. Remember, you can’t change other people; you can only change yourself.

Do Let Her Into Your World – If the question you’re asking yourself is, “could I sustain this, her, being from another world and all?” Then this is for you. I myself had to put up with shopping from most of my previous relationships, and try as I might, I can’t fathom the need for multiple shoes, if people could only wear two at a time, but the thing is not trying to understand. If you’re willing to step into HER world, then there’d be no reason she can’t at least try and reach out to yours. And if she refuses to take any part of who you are, then she might not be worth her salt anyway. Take her to things that you think are interesting, introduce her to your culture, and, same as your inability to fathom shoe-shopping, she will not get the difference between last year’s model and this year’s new introduction, but she’ll be there. She may not be able to name who-played-who-in-x-sci-fi-shows, but you couldn’t tell the difference between brands either.

Appearances Matter – If you pride yourself as the king of a piece of pop culture reference, to her, it won’t matter. You will be king of Star Wars dorks, or Battlestar Galactica dorks, or “just some IT dude.” Not that it would lessen your value, but stop being the underdog. It would only cement the idea that you are from two different worlds. You got the girl from charm and courage, let her into some of the things she could be proud about you — and she will constantly try to prove her worth. Constantly win her over — write a smashing essay, take an award-winning photograph, or direct a movie! She will be proud of any of those, and she will do her best to keep up, she’ll try to write things on your behalf, become an expert on something, or even get into what manner of sci-fi or technological geekery you are into.

Grand Gestures – Do invest a bit of personality into doing grand gestures for no reason. Don’t wait for the holidays, give her something that ONLY YOU can give her, because you feel like it. Any other bloke could pay for a billboard to say something, but that’s nothing compared to designing her a website or haxing powerlines to make skyscraper window-lights spell out her name. (Not that I’ve done this, or have the capacity to do so. It’s possible though.) Use this scarcely though, and make sure it doesn’t interfere with your daily capacity to do work or something.

Know Her Buttons – Here’s the sad part — as much as I recommend any of the above, it is ultimately based from my experience, with no prior knowledge of you or your girl. Develop compassion and understanding for her processes and she will do the same for you. Make inside jokes that only the two of you get, or learn something new together. Good luck, and happy heart’s day, kids!